Monday, July 11, 2011

Unfortunately, It's Not a Bad Dream-

Well, it has been many months since I have updated this blog.  To be honest, I was rather hoping that I would not need to add any further updates -the idea being that I was done and dusted with the cancer.  But oh noooo, not moi.  Bloody thing came back.


Since my last blog some 9 months ago, I have been coming along really well.  I felt great, had a good appetite -maybe a little too good!- and was able to carry on a pretty normal life.  The new bladder is working like a charm -kudos to my surgeons- and I really don't think about not having a real bladder since this one works almost the same as the old one.  My job is going really well and I am actually enjoying it and learning modern marketing (Google in fact).  Sue and I have been out and about as usual and going about our daily lives without a thought to last years events.


Since surgery last September, I have been going for CT scans every 3 months and it was on the 9 month scan that a mass showed up, rather unusually placed on the abdominal wall, but nevertheless, there it was.  My oncologist was certain of what the mass was, a recurrence of my bladder cancer, and so dispensed with usual needle biopsy -can't say as I am sad about that- and went for a PET scan instead.  Apparently the PET scan lights up any area's that have tumours.  So it is not really a case of what I have but more the extent of it.  


Come Monday next, the 11th, I am off to the MSK facility in Commack to be scanned, a 2.5 to 3 hour ordeal, and then Tuesday into the city to get the results, and start the new round of chemo.  I am pre-booked into the treatment suite -such a pleasant name for the place where they poison people- because I imagine the doc is pretty sure of the PET scan results, or maybe the scan is not even part of the treatment equation.  


Of course I have a ton of questions for him, all of which we were too stunned to ask when we went in for the CT scan results 2 weeks ago.  Sue was off that day and decided she would come into the city with me.  I am so glad she was there.  It was like a bomb going off in my stomach when they said I have a mass.  Both of us were trying hard to concentrate and listen to what the doctor was saying, but it was hard holding back the tears.  


I think Sue and I are getting to be a little more accepting of the idea that I have a recurrence, there is a treatment plan for it and it does not necessarily mean the end of the road for me -of course, that is always the first thing that goes through ones mind, and pops back quite frequently.  However, my mood is good and I am quite confident this round of chemo will be as equally effective as the rounds I had prior to surgery.  This is just another minor setback.


My boss is a champ .  He has said to take whatever time I need and if I need to work from home, which fortunately with my job I could, it's no prob.  Can't ask for more than that. He's a good bloke.


So that's all I know for now.  Next time I write I will have the scan results and will have had my first bout of poisoning -I think the PC term is infusion, but who gives a rats bum.


Be well to All,
Chris

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